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Modest proposal for Trump

Jacob Notermann, Staff Writer

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Donald J. Trump is the best at handling the media. Fantastic. He is exactly what this desperate country needs in order to feel safe again.

For years, the corrupt media has been working with lazy politicians, who have been all talk and no action, creating fake news about their opponents. This has not, and will not, be the case in a Trump administration.

Since the day he announced his candidacy for president, which many people are saying was the greatest campaign speech by anyone ever, President Trump has been spreading his message to the American people in the best way. The most fantastic way.

He’s been so good with communication, it makes your head spin. Phenomenal.

He has more Twitter followers than any other President in American history. Abe Lincoln, the  late, great Abe Lincoln (who many people said was an honest man, and I agree. Great guy. Very honest), doesn’t even have half of the number of followers on Twitter that Trump does. Sad.

No one has ever used Twitter better than Donald Trump. The best. Every day, he sends the best tweets you can find. Fantastic. He calls out the crooked media who tell lies about him (it’s awful, it really is) and tells the American people how he will save America.

He doesn’t go through the inefficient process (which is riddled with costly regulations. terrible stuff) of telling people what he wants to do. He tells the American people from his own Twitter account exactly as it happens. Like live-tweeting the process of making America great again.

While Donald Trump campaigned, he refused to use teleprompters. He doesn’t need a teleprompter. Trump doesn’t need to write down things he’s going to say. He’s a really, really smart man. I promise. He knows words. He has the best words.

After the landslide election Trump won (despite millions of people voting illegally, sad), many people were asking if he would continue to use Twitter the way he does. Trump promised to make the best decision anyone has ever made about this issue.

After Inauguration Day (which many people are saying was the most-watched and most-attended Inauguration speech in American history), Trump has continued to use Twitter to send his message out to us, the people, about what he is doing to make America great again.

Through Twitter, he was able to stop what would have been a terrible meeting with Mexico (they are still in talks about how Mexico will pay for the wall) and bring back thousands of jobs to the U.S. (by calling out terrible companies who tried to move overseas, it won’t happen).

Clearly, President Trump’s terrific ability to use Twitter is helping America in the best way possible. It’s so good, he was given a second Twitter account (which had been Obama’s, everyone loves the change, it’s fantastic, I promise).

Trump is making America great again all by himself (which is incredible stuff, really) and we are able to know how, instead of what Obama had done where we all wondered just what the hell was going on.

In all reality, Trump’s tweeting has been more of a poison than potion for helping America.

His inability to process information carefully has proven to be a problem with his own relationships and those of the country.

His back-and-forth with news agencies has only made it more difficult for him and his administration to appear transparent.

Recently, he engaged in a Twitter feud with the Mexican President, Enrique Peña Nieto. Trump wanted to talk about the wall; Peña Nieto wants nothing to do with it. It ultimately led to a breakdown in communication between neighbors and trade allies.

It seems his tendencies with Twitter has influenced how executive orders are made. Not only are his tweets a surprise to some people within the Trump team, but even the executive orders seem spontaneous and without warning.

Trump is no longer running a campaign. He is running a country. That means everything he says (or tweets) now impacts America’s relationships with other countries. So, let’s do what my parents did to me when I was learning how to handle new technology: take the phone away and introduce him to Sean Spicer.

Jacob Notermann is a staff writer for the  The Dakota Student. She can be reached at jacob.notermann@und.edu

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Modest proposal for Trump