Stalking is often portrayed as some dramatic endeavor that rarely rears its head. Movies and media tend to show threatening strangers, late-night phone calls, or someone lurking outside a window. In reality, stalking and harassment frequently develop in far subtler ways; little actions that can easily be overlooked if the focus is on dramatics. Many forms of stalking appear in everyday settings, especially on college campuses and in online spaces, and the behaviors are not always aggressive or overtly threatening. Instead, they tend to begin with actions that appear more nuisance than dangerous.
This can be as simple as sending a message after someone has said they do not want further contact. Even if said message is benign, it is the disregard for a set boundary that is important. Other examples include regularly monitoring a person’s social media pages, attempting to communicate through mutual friends, or showing up repeatedly in spaces where the person spends time whether that be in person or online. While this can feel like more of an annoyance than anything else, the impact can still be detrimental. Things like anxiety, insomnia, and depression can all be experienced by someone going through even these less violent forms of harassment. It can lead to avoiding certain buildings, events, or social groups. Maybe even changing schedules or withdrawing from loved ones or communities. When someone feels they must constantly anticipate unwanted contact, everyday things can begin to feel impossible.
Shared environments can make things more complicated. On college campuses, for example, people often share classrooms, residence halls, or social spaces. Online communities create a similar issue, where individuals may participate in the same groups or spaces, and it becomes harder to maintain a hard boundary. In those environments, repeated attempts to maintain contact can blur the line between normalcy and harassment. Someone may claim they are simply using shared spaces as they always did, brushing off the distress their contact may be causing whether intentional or not. The impact is just as important as intent, however, if not more so.
Another challenge is that subtle stalking behaviors are sometimes minimized by others, not even intentionally at times. Friends or community members may interpret the situation as a misunderstanding or relationship conflict rather than a pattern of harassment. That response can make it harder for individuals experiencing stalking to feel supported or taken seriously, especially if this is all happening within a larger shared space.
Recognizing these patterns early can make a significant difference. Stalking and harassment often escalate when boundaries are ignored repeatedly, which is why advocates stress the importance of taking concerns seriously from the start. What may seem small at first can escalate quickly. Even if it feels like nothing, it does not hurt to take note of it and keep a record. Keeping track and having a timeline can make it easier to see worsening patterns as well as make pursuing legal assistance easier if it ever reaches that point.
A solid support system goes a long way as well. Having friends or family that can listen or help without minimizing the issue makes a load of difference. Isolation only creates further distress. There are sources of support outside of interpersonal as well. Some examples at UND include CVIC at UND, the Title IX office, counseling services, crisis support, as well as the 24/7 escort options for on campus.
The real danger of stalking lies in the way it can blend into everyday life until the impact becomes impossible to ignore. What begins as seemingly benign unwanted contact can slowly push someone out of spaces, routines, and communities that once felt safe. Taking these patterns seriously and responding with support rather than dismissal helps ensure that safety and respect remain the norm, rather than the exception.
Ed Tortorelli is a Dakota Student General Reporter. He can be reached at [email protected].
