Recently an opinion piece was published in The Dakota Student titled, “What it takes to party exceptionally.” Originally, I was so angered and offended by the article that I fully intended to write a letter berating the author for the lack of journalistic integrity her work portrayed, and how negatively it reflected upon UND. However, upon taking a step back and catching my breath, I’ve decided to rethink my approach.

In writing this letter, I want to appeal to all of the girls who come to college and experience the loss of their innocence and purity, because people like this author tell them that’s what they need to do in order to get/keep a guy interested. Ladies, it’s not true! Value yourselves! In a letter to all women Blessed Pope John Paul II wrote, “Thank you, women who are daughters and women who are sisters! Into the heart of the family, and then of all society, you bring the richness of your sensitivity, your intuitiveness, your generosity and fidelity…Thank you, every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world’s understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic.” Your virtue and purity are worth so much more than you think they are. Do not let the first guy you meet to take them from you, because I can guarantee you will want them back. You make the world a better place just by being a woman. You are pure, authentic, and honest. Do not detract from that by having meaningless sex just because you want guys to notice you. In doing that, you will not attract a man who will love you authentically and selflessly, you will attract a man who is only interested in you for the physical aspects of your relationship.

In the party exceptionally article, the author goes on to mention that if a guy refuses to use a condom, then he is lame. But you know what, a guy who tries to hook up with you at a party does not respect you, and that is what makes him lame. Every time you have sex with some random guy, you decrease your self-worth just a little bit more; thus, decreasing the worth with which men who are actually worth your time see you. The same idea goes for being sexually active with the guy you’re dating. The author notes, “Frequent sex is essential to keep the relationship healthy.” I would like to tell you that is absolutely untrue. I know plenty of couples who have been together for one or more years, and have been able to keep their love alive without being sexually active. In fact, their relationships are often healthier, and their love deeper than those who put a great emphasis on physical intimacy. If sex is the most important part of your relationship, or is the only thing keeping it alive, then you should rethink your relationship.

When you treat sex like it is no big deal, it becomes nothing more than a pleasurable activity. In one of his many talks, Matthew Kelly said that as humans we often do things that bring us pleasure, because we think those activities will make us happy. The problem with this is that the pleasure brought to us by these activities, such as sex, only lasts for a short time. In order to maintain the happiness we receive from these activities, we have to keep doing them over and over again. Thus, no matter how great the sex is, the pleasure it brings will not be enough to sustain your true happiness. Nor will it help you maintain a healthy relationship. Sex is not an essential component in making a relationship last. The only thing that will sustain a relationship is love. As another letter to the editor recently noted, I am not talking about the word love itself, but rather, the virtue. Meaning, a solid foundation built upon a mutual respect for one another, and pure, authentic and self-giving love.

Shaina Lawrence

political science and 

public administration major