The concept of “fitting in” seems to be an ongoing dilemma for many, especially for teenagers and young adults. But why? Why is it that fitting in is necessary within our society today? In my opinion, it’s completely unnecessary and overrated. 

No one should feel pressured to fit in with a specific group, people should practice being more independent than anything. Nothing is more impressive and nothing stands out more than someone who is independent. Being independent is a personality trait that many people lack, especially those who feel the need to fit in. 

I feel that there are times and situations where not everyone will completely fit in and I’m not just speaking for myself, I’m speaking for those who may be involved in any clubs or organizations on campus. Personally, I think that fitting in doesn’t do anyone justice. However, standing out does. If you were a part of an organization, what did you do independently that made you stand out amongst the other members? It is questions like these that people such as future employers care about and most look for in candidates for a position. Some people, on the other hand, get upset or offended if they aren’t included in something- this is normal and trust me, I get it. It’s upsetting and it’s frustrating when you feel left out. With this mindset, you must learn how to move on and be okay with it. The older you get, the more you will need to be independent and if you don’t practice now, you will never understand what it’s like out in the real world.

Being independent doesn’t mean you have to exclude yourself from everything and everyone, it just means that you can do things by yourself without necessarily relying on anything or anyone. I actually learned how to be completely independent during my freshman year of college. In high school, I was guilty of trying to fit in all the time and it got pretty old pretty dang fast. During my junior year of high school, I was starting to get the hang of being independent because I attended a community college to receive dual credits while most of my friends were still taking courses at the high school. 

This was when everything started- I started prioritizing my academics first, running errands and getting coffee by myself and taking days or weekends to myself without feeling the need to see my friends all the time. Then before I knew it, I was sitting in my freshman year dorm room alone on a Saturday night treating myself to face masks and Netflix.

You should never feel bad for not fitting in, it’s such an unnecessary concept to me. If you feel as if you fit in, great, but make sure to allow room to become more independent as you grow older too.

Always make time for people in your life while doing things on your own too, I promise that you will feel a lot more accomplished and rewarded. Be mindful that there will be times that you feel left out or excluded but do not lose hope. Everything happens for a reason and your time to shine will come. Be mindful that being independent is a trait that everyone should adapt to and it stands out, trust me!