I have for a long time had trouble admitting this, overwhelmed by the fear of the response it would receive: I don’t like Star Wars.

That isn’t to say that some of the movies aren’t good, but on the whole, the series is nothing amazing.

Let’s talk about the first movie, or Episode Four, if you need to sort the films by their in-universe chronology rather than the far more sensible way, by release date.

This is one of the good ones. The film faces a few problems, mainly with its pacing, by moving far too slow at the beginning and then trying to wrap up far too quickly.

The film also has a problem with its characters, who all have pretty standard motivations and don’t experience an amount of change that could be called a character arc. All of that said, the film wraps up nicely and is enjoyable enough to survive the flaws it has.

But far be it from me to criticize something you loved as a child. Clearly, it is the pinnacle of entertainment excellence, and it is truly blasphemous to speak out against something so sacred.

After all, the quality of entertainment has long been measured by scientists in labs across the world, and all entertainment can be objectively measured And if you go against it, then you are wrong, and I can site numerous review scores that prove it.

Moving along to Episode Five, the film is an improvement over the its predecessor.

The issues with the pacing of the film have been resolved, and the film as a whole works a lot better. Similarly, the characters are more developed and as a result the story takes on more weight.

The film does have one problem, and that is its ending. The film ends on a massive cliffhanger to set up for the final installment in the trilogy, and so the film is left with no satisfying conclusion like the first film had.

But of course, millions of people love these films, and how could millions of people be wrong about the quality of a film? I mean if millions of people love these films, and they have been loved for generations, then how could it be that they are bad films.

Finally, there is Episode Six, which is by far the worst of the trilogy.

The pacing has once again gone, as the film jumps from action scene to action scene with little connectivity between them. The characters have made dramatic jumps from the last films, with Leia being the most obvious change, becoming far more aggressive than she ever had been in the previous films, with seemingly no reason for the change.

But all of this could be excused if it weren’t for the Ewoks. These little creatures have no purpose in the film besides to partake in the final battle in an unnecessary fashion. They serve as a comedy set piece that doesn’t fit the rest of the film in any way. They are nothing more than cheap set dressing, and they only serve to distract from some of the film’s better action scenes.

But how could someone hate Star Wars? After all, it’s not like anyone can have a nuanced opinion on a piece of art, and can find criticisms to make even while simultaneously enjoying it.

If someone criticizes a piece of art, it means they hate it, and they want you to hate it and get so upset that you can never watch it again out of a sense of shame that you could ever like such an atrocious piece of garbage.

Alex Bertsch is the editor-in-chief for The Dakota Student. He can be reached at

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