Before there was “Family Guy,” there was “The Simpsons,” and before that, there was the small 1972 animated feature “Fritz the Cat,” and it’s 1974 sequel, “The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat.”

While the adult animation scene has grown in quantity and quality since its early days, it all spawned from this pair cesspools.

“Fritz the Cat” was directed by independent animation legend, Ralph Bakshi, and is the highest grossing animated feature of all-time with $90 million. All successful things must come to an end, though, and Bakshi wasn’t brought on to work on the sequel and the production value suffers for it.

“The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat” is juvenile, racist and is an all-around bad movie. It hides behind the excuse of being edgy and for adults only, without any humor or quality to back it up.

The film opens with Fritz, now married with a son, sitting on his couch smoking a joint while his wife yells at him about getting a job. Meanwhile, his infant son sits staring at his mother’s breasts and masturbating.

It was at this point I realized what I was getting into. There isn’t even a joke there, you’re just expected to laugh because it’s crude. There is no point to it other than to be crude. The amazing thing about it is that someone, somewhere had to think that seeing an anthropomorphic baby cat masturbating would be funny. It makes me sad to be a part of this species.

Getting back to the plot, Fritz then begins to imagine all of his nine lives. The first one features him and his friend named Juan. Fritz and Juan go to Juan’s house, and Juan leaves Fritz and his sister Chita all alone. Chita is portrayed as underage, as she colors in her coloring book. Fritz proceeds to get her high and rape her (because that’s hilarious) until her father comes home and kills Fritz with his shotgun. Then he molests his daughter. Did I mention the racist crows that are planning to break-in and rob the house? Because those are a thing.

In Fritz’s next life he is a soldier for Nazi Germany during World War II. Fritz is having a threesome with two German women when he gets caught by an officer, he becomes an orderly for Adolf Hitler. After a plethora of Hitler has only one testicle jokes, Hitler rapes Fritz before Fritz is shot and killed by an American soldier.

The film goes on with more racism, including a segment about New Africa, a country in which all of the population is black and the crime rates are extremely high. Fritz gets blamed for an assassination of the president of New Africa because he is white.

This film is one of those movies that makes me depressed to live in a universe where I can coexist with it. Nothing in this film is funny, and at every moment it made me want to pull an Oedipus and gouge out my eyes so that I would not need to witness the horrors any longer.

The film is available on Netflix if you are particularly masochistic. I give this movie one out of five stars, and if you don’t already understand why, then you should probably seek professional help.

Alex Bertsch is the opinion editor for The Dakota Student. He can be reached at [email protected].