I have stopped walking around at night by myself.

I used to walk everywhere, especially when I had something on my mind. It was perfect for thinking and discovering the city at night. The trails that I knew well by day seemed entirely new in the dark. I miss doing that. Now, fear keeps me home.

Nothing terrible happened to me on those walks, save for a couple of drunken men hitting on me and some catcalls from passing vehicles.

But I’m still scared.

It’s gotten to the point that I never walk around by myself anymore due to the risk of being objectified.

I’ve also stopped eating bananas in public. This wasn’t a conscious decision — far from it — but I started feeling conspicuous eating bananas in the dining center.

It started with my friends teasing me about the sexual implications of a woman eating a banana. So, I switched from simply eating a banana to breaking off little pieces in order to avoid the perceived sexual nature of eating. Yet, all I could think of when eating a banana was whether or not I was keeping my eating habits appropriate. Eventually, I gave up on bananas all together.

These two habits I’ve changed since coming to college are small. They don’t really affect my day to day life much, but that’s not my point.

I have changed such small things because I’m scared as a woman.

If I’m willing to change these habits, will I change other larger and more important things about myself as well?

See, in these two events, I am not asking for attention. I am not asking for ogling. I am not asking to be turned into a sexual object. I am, by changing my small habits, allowing an anti-women state of inequality to dictate my smallest movements.

We live in a world where this is a real problem. I know this has been discussed before, but look at the music video for Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines.” I’m not going anywhere near the lyrics of the song because if you don’t understand how they allude to rape, then you need to educate yourself. The video features fully-clothed men ogling mostly-naked women.

My favorite parody of the music video, “Defined Lines,” plays with this as well. The women singing the song play with scantily clad men, mimicking the men in “Blurred Lines.” This isn’t something we see often, women asserting dominance over men.

Don’t believe me? Check out Miley Cyrus’ VMA performance.

Everyone talked about Cyrus’ sexual performance, but no one mentioned the man, Robin Thicke, 16 years her senior, doing the exact same thing. He was grinding as much as she was. He was being just as sexual, yet we don’t criticize him. It’s Cyrus who is being the “deviant,” not the older man being “disgusting.”

This illustrates the difference between how men and women are perceived in the United States today: Women aren’t allowed to be anything but objects. This is why Cyrus’ enjoyment and taking charge has caused so many waves. She made the man into her object. It’s also why Thicke’s playing with women is not causing as many waves; he, by treating the women as things, is doing exactly what society tells him to do.

Though it is true that we don’t live in an era where women are traded like property — well, at least not in the U.S. — consider for a moment that women have been able to vote for less than one hundred years. I have relatives who were alive when women didn’t have a say in what laws were passed and who was in charge of the country. It wasn’t that long ago.

In such a short time, we have come a long way, but we aren’t there yet. When women like me can’t eat a banana in public without being objectified, we certainly have not reached equality.

Those small, day to day changes I’ve made illustrate this inequality as seen on a less public stage.

We live in a society where we will always blame the woman. Just because I am walking alone at night does not mean I am asking to get raped. Just because I am eating a banana in public does not mean I am asking to be humiliated. I am a human being, I am as complex and as deep as other human beings. Being a woman does not change this, and nor should it, so why does it change the way I am treated?

Kjerstine Trooien is a staff writer for The Dakota Student. She can be reached at [email protected].