We come into this world naked, and we might as well stay that way.

As individuals, we go through most days covered and constrained by layers and layers — and, let’s be real, if you can get by with just two layers in a North Dakota winter you’re some kind of superhuman — of bulky fabric. We stuff our feet into socks, squeeze the ladies into cups, wrap our necks in scarves, pull on dingy pairs of whitey-tighties and go through the whole day in our own personal prisons.

So when night comes — when you’re winding down in your apartment or kicking it back in the dorm — don’t you just want to take it off?

And I mean take it all off.

Yep, I’m talking about sleeping in the buff.

If you’ve never stripped down and fallen asleep completely bare between your sheets, well, then frankly, you’re missing out. Sleeping naked is perhaps one of the most natural, most relaxing, most freeing things you could ever do for yourself. In a world that says you must do 12 things at once while also chewing gum, sometimes the only time you can take to pamper yourself is when you’re asleep.

Sleeping naked is the equivalent of sleeping on a beautiful, cloud, and I highly recommend it. Some of you may have some questions, and that’s fair. So, here are the FAQs.

Do you always sleep naked? No, I do not, dear person. Because I have a roommate and as much as I like sleeping naked, doing so in a shared bedroom is freaky.

Wait, you own pajamas right? And if you do, why not just wear them always? Well, friends I do own pajamas. And I occasionally opt not to wear them because ‘Murica.

What if someone walks in while you’re nakedly snoozing? Um, they’re called sheets and I highly recommend them. I also recommend only sleeping bare if you’re confident that you won’t be entertaining guests in your room
while you’re dozing.

How long do you plan to continue sleeping naked? The answer to that lies with you: How long do you plan to keep breathing? All my life, dear friend. All my life.

And if I die in my sleep, well then at least I’m leaving this world the way I came.

Carrie Sandstrom is the editor-in-chief of The Dakota Student. She can be reached at [email protected].