Does your dream man actually wear shiny armor and slay dragons? Probably not, but I’d be willing to bet you want him to be chivalrous even if he isn’t a medieval knight.
The concept of chivalry first began back in the eleventh century. It had to do with knighthood, saving damsels in distress, etc. But today chivalry is a little different. I think chivalry is generally thought of as how guys are supposed to treat a girl, especiallya when on a date. This includes small deeds like opening the door for her, paying for her dinner and bringing her flowers. I think these are important parts of a date. Personally, I would be way more likely to go out a second time if my date showed class with thoughtful actions like those.
Now, there are definitely some guys who are too “cool” to vie for the whole chivalry thing, but there are still a lot of guys out there who want to spoil their lady with acts of kindness.
I’m here to argue that chivalry isn’t dead, but rather, it’s roadkill that was destroyed by girls who take advantage of it. Some girls take advantage of chivalrous men who spoil them. Guys should not have to pay for every date. They shouldn’t feel like they have to buy her stuff every day. They shouldn’t do her homework and make her dinner every night.
Some girls expect that, but it’s too much. None of that is necessarily bad in and of itself. It’s important that guys are there for their girl, so making dinner for her once in a while or buying her something special for her birthday is expected. But girls shouldn’t treat guys like their personal servant. I would argue the act of spoiling a girl is taking chivalry too far if it’s a daily thing. However, I think spoiling for special occasions seems more acceptable.
When the guy is still trying to win a girl over, it’s more expected that he go to greater lengths to impress her by paying for dinner and holding the door for her. But at the same time, it would be kind of lame if the guy stopped being a gentlemen once he “snagged” her. I think once a couple is “Facebook official,” these expectations shouldn’t be as extreme. Guys should always treat their girl with respect and care. But there shouldn’t be all these demands on the guy.
I don’t think it’s fair for the man to have to pay every time. It seems fair to pay every other time or split the bill. Girls should also do nice things for the guy. You shouldn’t expect to get little presents and flowers from him all the time unless you’re going to do nice things like that for him too.
Then again, people can date whoever and however they feel is right. If you’re dating a needy girl, that’s your choice. If you’re dating a guy who refuses to pay for you ever, that’s your choice. Whatever works for the specific couple is all that matters.
Jill Morton is an opinion writer for Dakota Student. She can be reached at [email protected]