Parenting from a helicopter

Helicopter parents are defined as parents who “hover” over their college student, becoming too involved in their child’s life and school, therefore preventing the child from making their own decisions.

This can have serious consequences for the maturity and emotional growth of the child as they enter the adult world because they lack experience in making their own life decisions.

The concept of the helicopter parent is fairly new. Instances of helicopter parenting have shown up in correlation with the increasing number of students attending college after graduating high school, as well as with the increasing number of students who rely on their parent’s finances to get them through college.

When our parents were in their 20s, it was not uncommon for people to enter the work force immediately after college and earn enough to buy a home and a car. Those that did go to school would be able to pay for it themselves for the most part.

Today, college degrees are more sought out in the work force. Jobs that do not require them usually don’t pay enough to enable a person to afford school or a home without taking out loans or receiving assistance from parents or other loved ones.

Because of the increasing for financial aid that students face today, parents providing support can become prone to a mentality that because it is their money, they should get to make the decisions of what the child does with it in terms of education. This is where helicopter parenting comes into effect as the parent uses their financial involvement as a means to make important life decisions for the child.

Helicopter parenting, though detrimental to students, is very often enabled by schools through programs such as parent orientations, which provide the parents of current and prospective students the opportunity to meet with staff and become more immediately involved with their child’s education. While some aspects of these programs are beneficial, it tends to encourage parental over-involvement.

As frustrating as helicopter parenting can be, it is important to recognize that it usually stems from emotional issues — such as “empty nest syndrome” —  that parents encounter when their child enters adulthood.

Issues like these have increased in frequency as more young adults choose to go to college. This is  because college serves as an intermediate period before adulthood where they’re not quite in the adult world yet allowing many parents to continue viewing their child as a child rather than an adult.

It is also important to recognize this phenomenon when it occurs so that it can be addressed properly.

If you feel like your parents may be helicopter parents talking to them about the importance of making your own life choices will be beneficial for both parties and the relationship as a whole. College is a time to learn and grow as a person which is why it is important for both parents and their children to know how to best accomplish that goal.

Abigail Farmer is a staff writer for The Dakota Student. She can be reached at [email protected].